Bah Humbug and Merry Christmas

I've always loved Christmas.  It's never been as fun for me as Halloween, which is all about indulgences and excess (and just so much wackiness ensues at any age).  As I've grown up, my reasons for loving Christmas have changed drastically.

When I was a kid, I was always about the toys (of course).  This year, my list was actually shorter than my mom's, which is really crazy.  I asked for two gifts - Trivial Pursuit (because I'm a geek) and a tie clip.  Seriously.  I asked for a tie clip.  In the world of practical gifts that people need and don't ask for, that ranks just below socks.  and I asked for it.  Granted, I was specific in that I wanted it to be silver in color, but that's only because my wedding ring is white gold, and all my belt buckles are silver.

But even with everything, I haven't really been feeling Christmas this year.  I guess it's because this is the time of year to look back and reflect on the past year.  And overall, it's been an amazing year.  I finished up my second college degree, graduating with honors,  I'm now getting paid to do exactly what I want to do (well...almost), and I'm now legally married to the love of my life.  On top of all that, Hubby has ALMOST finished his PhD, and we're getting close to the next chapter of our lives, and I couldn't be more excited.

I should take a moment to point out that when I say I love Christmas, I really mean it.  I love buying gifts for friends and family.  Usually, they are ones that they ask for, but it's always something that really means something either to them or to me.  We usually spend about $100 or so on each other (I'm not going to miss the college student budgets) and around $50 for friends and family.  Granted, most friends do not actually get gifts, but that's more due to the lack of funds.  And I've never understood the point of buying a gift just because you are supposed to.  Buying things for people out of obligation ruins the spirit of the season to me.

This year, one of the people that has (unknowingly) been a major inspiration to me as a budding blogger has been Jenny, the Bloggess.  Her wit and willingness to say and do the most inappropriate things at the most inappropriate moment never ceases to bring a little light to my soul.  This year, she took it upon herself to give back to people in need.  What started out as giving out $600 ballooned to a major project where $42,000 was given to people in need.

I am a huge sap for stories of generosity, specifically during Christmas.  So I would read the stories from people who needed a little extra help to provide the Christmas that their families deserved.  I decided upon reading it that I would donate and help out such a worthy cause.  And then I checked our finances.

We had already planned on an extremely low-key Christmas.  We wanted to focus more on savings than anything.  Plus, I was unemployed starting in January while I did my student teaching.  I didn't go back to work until August, and that was for a fraction of what I had been making before I left.  We decided to make our own gifts for people to save money, and we wouldn't buy each other gifts at all.  However, that's just not how I roll.  But I could suck it up, because bills were tough this past month.  Then Hubby threw me for a loop.

I can't remember if I ever blogged about it, but back in June, Hubby went to a conference in Prague.  He got me the two things I asked for - absinthe and Toblerone - a giant bar that I just finished the other day.  Turns out, he also got my a couple of Christmas gifts.  So here I am on Christmas Eve feeling like a failure.  My husband, my family and my friends all deserve so much more this year than I am able to provide, especially after being able to share such a wonderful year with all of them.  So what am I doing?  I'm wrapping a few things we already own while Hubby is at church with his family so that he has something to open tomorrow morning from me.

Things are not anywhere near the point where we need assistance of any sort.  I know this post makes it sound like we do.  It just means that we've had to cut out a lot of the frills temporarily.  And unfortunately, gifts fall into that category.

In a very long and convoluted way, this post is essentially a love letter from me to my family and friends, and most of all to my wonderful husband.  Think of this as the gift that all of you should have received from me.  I know it's not much, but it's all I can give at the moment.

NOTE: For the record, I did consider asking for assistance during the Bloggess's drive, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. It all boils down to we're not badly off, and there are many, many people worse off than we are.  We've had a rough month in terms of bills, but we have lots of savings and things are only going to be getting better in the next several months.  But it's called savings, and not spendings, so that money doesn't get applied to the "I wish we could...'s", only the "We really need...'s".

UPDATE: I just realized that now I have to prevent Hubby from reading this post until tomorrow morning, and he checks his blogs fairly regularly.  This'll prove interesting.