Bah Humbug and Merry Christmas

I've always loved Christmas.  It's never been as fun for me as Halloween, which is all about indulgences and excess (and just so much wackiness ensues at any age).  As I've grown up, my reasons for loving Christmas have changed drastically.

When I was a kid, I was always about the toys (of course).  This year, my list was actually shorter than my mom's, which is really crazy.  I asked for two gifts - Trivial Pursuit (because I'm a geek) and a tie clip.  Seriously.  I asked for a tie clip.  In the world of practical gifts that people need and don't ask for, that ranks just below socks.  and I asked for it.  Granted, I was specific in that I wanted it to be silver in color, but that's only because my wedding ring is white gold, and all my belt buckles are silver.

But even with everything, I haven't really been feeling Christmas this year.  I guess it's because this is the time of year to look back and reflect on the past year.  And overall, it's been an amazing year.  I finished up my second college degree, graduating with honors,  I'm now getting paid to do exactly what I want to do (well...almost), and I'm now legally married to the love of my life.  On top of all that, Hubby has ALMOST finished his PhD, and we're getting close to the next chapter of our lives, and I couldn't be more excited.

I should take a moment to point out that when I say I love Christmas, I really mean it.  I love buying gifts for friends and family.  Usually, they are ones that they ask for, but it's always something that really means something either to them or to me.  We usually spend about $100 or so on each other (I'm not going to miss the college student budgets) and around $50 for friends and family.  Granted, most friends do not actually get gifts, but that's more due to the lack of funds.  And I've never understood the point of buying a gift just because you are supposed to.  Buying things for people out of obligation ruins the spirit of the season to me.

This year, one of the people that has (unknowingly) been a major inspiration to me as a budding blogger has been Jenny, the Bloggess.  Her wit and willingness to say and do the most inappropriate things at the most inappropriate moment never ceases to bring a little light to my soul.  This year, she took it upon herself to give back to people in need.  What started out as giving out $600 ballooned to a major project where $42,000 was given to people in need.

I am a huge sap for stories of generosity, specifically during Christmas.  So I would read the stories from people who needed a little extra help to provide the Christmas that their families deserved.  I decided upon reading it that I would donate and help out such a worthy cause.  And then I checked our finances.

We had already planned on an extremely low-key Christmas.  We wanted to focus more on savings than anything.  Plus, I was unemployed starting in January while I did my student teaching.  I didn't go back to work until August, and that was for a fraction of what I had been making before I left.  We decided to make our own gifts for people to save money, and we wouldn't buy each other gifts at all.  However, that's just not how I roll.  But I could suck it up, because bills were tough this past month.  Then Hubby threw me for a loop.

I can't remember if I ever blogged about it, but back in June, Hubby went to a conference in Prague.  He got me the two things I asked for - absinthe and Toblerone - a giant bar that I just finished the other day.  Turns out, he also got my a couple of Christmas gifts.  So here I am on Christmas Eve feeling like a failure.  My husband, my family and my friends all deserve so much more this year than I am able to provide, especially after being able to share such a wonderful year with all of them.  So what am I doing?  I'm wrapping a few things we already own while Hubby is at church with his family so that he has something to open tomorrow morning from me.

Things are not anywhere near the point where we need assistance of any sort.  I know this post makes it sound like we do.  It just means that we've had to cut out a lot of the frills temporarily.  And unfortunately, gifts fall into that category.

In a very long and convoluted way, this post is essentially a love letter from me to my family and friends, and most of all to my wonderful husband.  Think of this as the gift that all of you should have received from me.  I know it's not much, but it's all I can give at the moment.

NOTE: For the record, I did consider asking for assistance during the Bloggess's drive, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. It all boils down to we're not badly off, and there are many, many people worse off than we are.  We've had a rough month in terms of bills, but we have lots of savings and things are only going to be getting better in the next several months.  But it's called savings, and not spendings, so that money doesn't get applied to the "I wish we could...'s", only the "We really need...'s".

UPDATE: I just realized that now I have to prevent Hubby from reading this post until tomorrow morning, and he checks his blogs fairly regularly.  This'll prove interesting.

I Don't Know How I Feel About That

Working as a substitute teacher in multiple school districts has been an eye-opening experience.  Not only do expectations differ drastically from district to district, but even two schools in the same district have expectations that are dissonant.  Some days I walk in with a detailed lesson plan for a subject I do not know, and I'm expected to teach it.  Sometimes, even the administration can't find the teacher's lesson plan (that was turned in to the office).  Most of the time, I'm given everything I need to figure it out as I go.  And it's always enjoyable - even when it seems like being swallowed by the earth would be better.  Suck it, large unnamed retail store that formerly used a smiley!

I also get to have interesting experiences that a 'normal' teacher doesn't get to experience.  Last Friday? I was a secretary in the guidance office for the day.  Did you know that 'permanent records' are not just an idle threat? I got to put this year's school pictures with the files.  Kinda cool.  Also makes me kinda want to torch my high school in order to destroy them.  Then I remember that I was a goodie-two-shoes in high school.  So I guess the school can live to see another day.  You got lucky this time.

Today? I was a librarian.  Like for real.  My title was 'secondary librarian'.  Turns out the person that I thought was the main librarian? My secretary.  Yes.  I had a secretary.  And at least 3 student aides each period.  I crap you not.  It was BADASS.  Except there was one issue that I had.

Ever since the string of suicides by gay teens, schools have been cracking down on bullying.  In all forms.  And the mentality of "boys will be boys" does not seem to be acceptable by administration any longer.  I had a coteacher one day who stopped the class and went on a diatribe about how to treat other people after hearing a student tell another to 'shut up'.  I was impressed.  And glad that she showed up after I told the entire class to do the same.

Anyways, back to today.  The school library had a very good selection of books on sexuality, sexual orientations, and the like.  They also had a book called "Pornography".  The pictures were not.  I was kinda disappointed, and I'm not sure why.  Anyways, all of these books, along with books on the occult (yes, really) mental health, rape, abuse, etc. books were behind the circulation desks in the 'reserved' section.  The extremely popular books, such as Twilight and Harry Potter were also in the reserved section to keep track of them.  There are no restrictions on checking them out, so I asked why the resource books are back there.

Turns out, it's because students would find them in the regular stacks and would get disruptive.  So any books that have questionable titles or content that could prove disruptive (such as 'Pornography', 'Rape', and 'Abortion') were put behind the desk.  Any student has access to them as long as they ask the librarian to look at them.  I understand why virtually all of these titles were located where they were.  Except for one issue.  And you may have figured it out already.

A student who is questioning his or her sexual orientation, and looking for resources to help them is not going to feel comfortable asking the librarian to look at the gay resources section.  Of course, to be fair, teenagers don't use books anymore, thanks to my first true love.  The Internet.  You'll always be first.  And I'll try to be faithful and never commit letters onto paper.  It just makes me feel dirty.

Ok...I think I lost the serious point somewhere along the way, but isn't the point of having resources available for students is for them to feel comfortable using them?  If you are questioning (and obviously deep in the closet) you are not going to ask the librarian.  You'll walk past it on the shelf like 14 times, then pick it up, flip through really quick, and put it back before anyone notices.  Then get the courage to sneak it up to the desk to check it out.  By placing it between two more 'appropriate' books.  And hope the librarian doesn't look at the book titles.

Not like I've ever done that.

Crap...I Don't Even Have a Title!

I'll be completely honest.  I really don't know what I'm going to write.  I just know that I basically promised to post two (or more) times a week in my last couple posts, and implied that I'd be trying to post every day.  That was 22 days ago.  I fail.  So to compensate, you (meaning the anonymous people who use google reader, since that doesn't show up on my stat counter, as no one else apparently bothers to read my blog) get the wonderful gift of free-style prose courtesy of me.  In otherwords, this might be a good time to stop reading.

You have been warned.

Ok.  Let me go all the way back to Thanksgiving.  We spent a few days at Hubby's parents' and then went to mine for a few days.  At Hubby's, we went to a movie, and were given money to go out to eat every night.  The only time there was really any 'family time' was when we dragged his mother to the store with us.  Which was a mistake in the guilt-trip sense.  Pretty much anything we looked at, she offered to buy for us.  When I pointed out a few potential Christmas gifts for hubby (while he was standing there) she just put them in the cart, and gave them to us when we got back to the house.  We saw Unstoppable.  Not a horrific movie, although I will say that the small town that they show (looks like Altoona or maybe Tyrone PA) apparently had a population of 754,000 people.  Which would make it the 17th largest city in the country.  That was the one thing I just couldn't let go.  I can ignore just about any ridiculous claim made in an action movie.  The bus in Speed could TOTALLY make that jump.  Just not a real bus, because that'd be crazy.

Anyways, back on point.  ish.  So we went to my parents.  Just north of Charlottesville, VA (like quite literally the first shopping center after you leave Charlottesville) we've always stopped at an Arby's.  We go to pull in, but the Arby's sign is gone, but there is sign saying that it's open.  When I say the sign is gone, I mean you can see the outline of the old sign, and there was no replacement sign.  There were about 30 giant American flag banners in the parking lot.  Turns out, it is now 'The Patriot Place' and serves subs and fried chicken.  It wasn't bad.  Although even inside, they only bothered to cover up the Arby's logos.  They didn't even bother to take off the plaques on the wall near the bathroom.  They just put American flag stickers over the spot where the plaque said Arby's.  Yeah, it was quality.

Oh yeah, my parents.  Shut up.  I'm getting there.  We did a Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving Day.  At like 5am.  In the rain.  Ok, it was actually light out and it stopped raining long enough for the trot, but that's not the point.  I didn't actually trot.  Hubby did, along with my brother and his fiancé.  My lazy ass decided to do the 2k walk instead of the 5k run.  I did get to take the dog with me, which was nice.  Growing up in the area, I knew there were a few people's houses that I walked by that deserved a bag of dog poo, which I happened to have.  The only problem was that I didn't know exactly which houses I needed to leave them at.  I decided to err on the side of caution and just leave bags at all the houses.  But the dog wouldn't cooperate.  It's kinda embarrassing to sit there begging/yelling at your dog to poop while hundreds of people walk by staring at you.  I just wanted to cover my bases.  Is that so wrong?  Oh, and I beat a guy on crutches that started around the same time as me.  By like 2 minutes.  Go me.

I'd tell you about the rest of Thanksgiving, it was great.  Just not anything crazy.  No fights, or fires.  In other words, nothing fun.  Oh well.  Friday night, we decided to play Trivial Pursuit with my parents on one team, Hubby and I on another, and my bro and his fiance on the third.  We couldn't even agree on what color to be.  It was one of those nights.  But, between the five of us that were drinking, we went through approximately 17 bottles of wine.  Or 4.  One of the two.  I can't remember.  One of the questions, and I was later informed that it was also brought up in the movie Beaches, was 'what did Otto Titzling invent'.  It took my brother like 5 tries to even read the question.  There's something about saying 'tit' in front of your parents.  When he finally got the question out, we all just died laughing.  It was probably the wine.  We didn't even get a chance to guess, because among the raucusness that followed the question, my mom blurted out 'the bra'.  She was right.  A guy named 'tit-sling' invented the bra. Wow.

I'm think I'm going to stop here.  Mostly because I don't know how to segue into anything new.  Because I've been all about the seamless transitions this post.  Whatever.  I did warn you.