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Nov 11, 2011

Reminiscing



Just to warn you, I'm a little punch drunk after spending 13 hours over the past two days driving.

So I missed the big Virginia Tech game in Atlanta that I've been excited about since before we even found out that we were definitely moving there.  I did it to come up to my HS reunion.  It's actually a big deal for me to pass, but I know I'll get to see VT/Bama AND VT/GT in two years, so I can deal.  And I got to visit Blacksburg, which was fucking badass seeing people, none of which I've seen in like 4 years.  Which totally made it worth it.

So I spent 13 hours in the car, with a layover in Blacksburg yesterday.  Which meant I belted out a LOT of show tunes (stop judging me) and stuck in my mind.  Anyone who knows me well, then you should be afraid.  Very, very, very afraid.

It was actually not that bad.  I came to some revelations.

First off, I decided that next football season, I want the two USC's to play each other in a bowl game, and one blows out the other.  Because I want to see either of the following headlines: "Cocks stuff the Trojans", or "Trojans smother the Cocks".  Not all my thoughts can be winners, but I felt like sharing regardless.

I look back on high school, and don't have many bad memories unless I start thinking deeply.  I remember feeling alone and virtually friendless.  Now, based on photos and other forgotten memories that have resurfaced, I've realized that it wasn't actually the case.  I just spent a lot of time dealing with my own issues that I was relatively withdrawn to try to hide stuff I hadn't even had a chance to process myself.

I think it was somewhere in either 10th or 11th grade, I finally came to terms with the fact that I was attracted to men.  I refused to give up on the idea of liking women, and I kept trying put my feelings aside.  I'd pretty much fully come to terms with it when I started dating DG.  It just felt right, and the fact that we were never able to actually spend time together probably helped keep the relationship for more than a few days (sorry, DG, you know I still love you!)

My ability to deal with issues in my life became a lot better in college, when I was pledging my fraternity.  Don't sweat the small shit, and it's all small shit.  It's hard to remember that all the crap going on in your life is all 'small shit', but it really is.  And when you are actually able to put everything in perpsective, it's much easier to deal with.

I also realized that maybe I'd have had an easier time dealing with my own issues if there had been more stuff in pop culture about unconditional acceptance.  The "It Gets Better" campaign, the Trevor Project, in addition to a slew of big singles by popstars.  To be fair, TLC put out "Unpretty" in 1999, but I don't remember it as strongly as even Christina Agulera's "Beautiful", let alone Lady Gaga's "Born this Way" and Pink's "Fuckin' Perfect", both of which get crazy amounts of play on the radio.

Anyways, I'm actually kinda distracted while simultaneously realizing that maybe I should have my editor around when I decide I have a brilliant thought after 13 hours of driving.  Also,...actually, I don't think I had an also.  Maybe I did, but I'm done now.

Also, I'm really looking forward to the weekend, even if Hubby isn't by my side, so that I have some arm candy.  He's too busy proving how crazy smart and awesome he is.  And you may now call him Dr. Hubby.