But We Did That Already. Right?

I've been in a committed relationship with FertKiki for over seven years now.  That's like 21 typical gay relationships.  At least.  Four years ago, we had a (not-legally-binding) wedding ceremony down at Virginia Tech by the pastor of a pretty United Church of Christ in Blacksburg.  Interesting side-note: last I heard, she has resigned as the pastor of that church, and I heard a rumor that she was to be a pastor at the UCC church in Washington DC that the Obama family attends occasionally.  However, I cannot find any proof of that.  Maybe my source is a loyal reader, and will be kind enough to let me know!

So for four years, I've referred to FertKiki as my husband.  On top of that, we participated in a commitment ceremony On Penn State's campus officiated by the recently deceased State College mayor, one of the most friendly and passionate people that I've ever had the pleasure of working with.  That was just over two years ago.  Just don't ask me when.  I got our dating anniversary still, our wedding anniversary, and finally his birthday.  But I don't know the date of our second ceremony.

Why the hell am I bringing this up, you ask?  Because I'm thinking about popping the question again.  Well technically, I alluded to it on the phone with him about an hour ago.  We've talked a lot about getting a legal wedding for quite a while, but haven't felt particularly motivated, especially since Pennsyltucky is a state with a DOMA statute.  But now we're moving. Most likely.  Maybe.  Hopefully.  FertKiki had his interview(s) today in New Mexico, and he should hear back in about a week.  Via telephone.  While he is at a conference in Europe.  And can't use his cell phone.  I just KNEW a situation like this would come up five years ago when we were trying to decide between ATT and Verizon.

New Mexico is a unique state in the gay marriage front.  They have not passed a law either banning or allowing same-sex marriage.  And their constitution uses the same obliquely-worded passages as the ones struck down in California, Iowa, and Massachusetts had (along with others).  And, the state courts have never ruled on the issue (unlike the three above).  However, unlike New York (which until this point was identical) the courts have not ruled on the issue of out-of-state same-sex marriages (I never get to use the hyphen this much).  In fact, New Mexico was one of the states back in 2004 in which some marriage licenses were issued to same-sex couples (as was also done in California, New York, and Washington).  However, it is the only state that did not then have all licenses annulled.

They don't seem particularly eager to push the issue either way.  In 2008, a bill was killed in the Senate that would have legalized same-sex marriages in New Mexico (after being passed in the House).  No later attempt has been made.  The last year an attempt to outlaw same-sex marriage made serious progress was in 2005.

Why don't I just wait until it becomes clear?  For starters, because I'm sick of waiting.  I've always hated the comparison between the Gay Civil Rights Movement and the Black Civil Rights Movement, but one of the most powerful things that I have ever read is Letter From a Birmingham Jail, written by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  It makes me cry every time I read it.  And tear up thinking about it.  And now that I've looked it up, I'm crying like a baby.

"Perhaps it is easy for those who have never felt the stinging dark of segregation to say, "Wait." But when you have seen vicious mobs lynch your mothers and fathers at will and drown your sisters and brothers at whim; when you have seen hate-filled policemen curse, kick and even kill your black brothers and sisters; ... then you will understand why we find it difficult to wait. There comes a time when the cup of endurance runs over, and men are no longer willing to be plunged into the abyss of despair." FULL TEXT

I'm not saying that I have had to experience ANYTHING akin to that in my lifetime.  But when all I want is hospital visitation rights, legal power of attorney, and most importantly inheritance rights.  I don't think I'm being greedy. Or that I'm asking too much.

For the record, there is a less-than-altruistic desire as well.  The company that might be offering FertKiki a job will pay to relocate both of us, but will only fly out him and his legal spouse to job hunt.  $45 bucks and a week at my parents versus round trip airfare and meals.  Easy choice.  Don't judge me.

BTW, if nuptials are forthcoming, I'll eventually post information.  It'll take a while to come to a decision either way.  And I even think I may have to hire a lawyer to do so.  Yuck.  All lawyers are evil.  Except for all the ones that read this.  They are some of the best people in the whole world.  If you can give me any advice on New Mexico tax law, call me!

EDIT: I go off the deep end a little when I'm stuck with only my own thoughts for an extended period of time.  I've only been unattended for two days.  Imagine what next week will be like.  I'll be alone for a whole week.