Out of the Frying Pan...

Ok.  It's official.  Well not really.  We haven't signed anything.  Or even seen the contract yet.  But it's supposed to be coming by the end of this week.  Granted it was supposed to arrive by the Friday two weeks ago.  But Hubby's advisor hasa very good idea what's in the contract (he was obviously in on the negotiations) and has passed on what we need to know.  There is still the possibility that the written contract will be different, but we are at 99.9% certainty.

I've lived in a major metropolitan area.  I've lived in a town with an amazing university that's part of the ACC athletic conference.  I've lived near large popular museums and amusement parks.  I've lived near some amazing and some mediocre professional teams...mostly mediocre.  And I've gotten to see and swim with sharks.  And I like to drink Coke. Now I get to do all at once. Well not simultaniously...although.... *enters catatonic euphoric state imagining the possibilities*

Ok, I'm back...now where was I....oh yeah, baiting you along...back to that.

This potential move has been very hush-hush for a multitude of reasons.  Hubby's advisor at the university is abandoning ship for a different one, potentially leaving starving grad students in a lurch.  We were horrifically burned by the city-that-shall-not-be-named (it rhymes with malmamurque) after I posted extensively about relocating there.  I was not originally planning on leaving all my (5) die-hard followers in the lurch for months - I was originally told 4-8 weeks.  Four months ago.  In fact my brother and sister-in-law (yay, I get to write that instead of fiancé!!) were apparently talking about us the other day and came to the conclusion that it must have fallen through, due to the lack of announcements from us.

I hate Pepsi.  Like HATE. Maybe it's the whole Joan Crawford thing...still don't get the draw of Mommy Dearest.  And I love Coke.  I've always lived in 'coke towns' before moving to central PA, where everything is all pepsi, all the time.  Probably because Aquafina gets a lot of it's water from the Spring in Bellefonte.  Check your bottles, if you have any.  They might very well say "Bellefonte, PA" or "Milesburg, PA".  I'm really not sure where I was going with this other than to continue to distract from my main point.

I've been bitching about the weather and heat here in PA, which is nothing compared to what we will have to endure in our new locale.  And my new-and-improved sinuses will get a workout with allergens (which are relatively mild here).

Anyways, here it is.  You may have already figured it out.  We're moving to Atlanta.  Yes, I've been bitching about the heat, and I'm going to be moving to Atlanta.  Hubby will be working for a major university there.  And both of us are forbidden from calling it 'Tech'.  It's a two-year post-doctoral position, so we might only be there for two years, but we are thinking about it as a permanent relocation.  Largely because it will allow me to lay some roots as a teacher.

Speaking of that, I've already submitted my application for a Georgia teaching license.  Over the course of the next several days I will be looking at specific school districts and begin to make contacts for jobs.

I don't know exactly when Hubby will start working down there, but he has yet to defend his doctoral-level research.  However, it appears as though we are in for a whirlwind move.  As in we may be there Permanently in about 2 months.  We. Not I.  Originally the plan (assuming Hubby got the position) was for me to move down during the summer so that I could begin to teach while he finished up his work here. However, as of 2pm today, I was informed that we would be moving down together.

We have already begun to go through all of our accumulated crap, separating out the clothes that no longer fit/aren't worn/are hideously ugly.  If you live in central PA, you may have an opportunity to load up on goodies that we no longer want/don't want to have to move. (not the clothes.  We'll donate those.)

Obviously, there's still more to come....I'll keep you updated, I swear!

UPDATED: I just realized that this is full of weird capitalizations and some of the sentences don't make any sense. Maybe I'll come back to it and fix it when I'm no longer feeling a buzz from the champagne, but I doubt it.  Pizza and Champagne: Celebration of Champions.

UPDATE 2: I have absolutely no idea why it's acting funky with comments.  The fields required to post a comment aren't even showing up for me.  Feel free to send them via facebook, twitter, email, or any other contact method (if you know them already)

Bah Humbug and Merry Christmas

I've always loved Christmas.  It's never been as fun for me as Halloween, which is all about indulgences and excess (and just so much wackiness ensues at any age).  As I've grown up, my reasons for loving Christmas have changed drastically.

When I was a kid, I was always about the toys (of course).  This year, my list was actually shorter than my mom's, which is really crazy.  I asked for two gifts - Trivial Pursuit (because I'm a geek) and a tie clip.  Seriously.  I asked for a tie clip.  In the world of practical gifts that people need and don't ask for, that ranks just below socks.  and I asked for it.  Granted, I was specific in that I wanted it to be silver in color, but that's only because my wedding ring is white gold, and all my belt buckles are silver.

But even with everything, I haven't really been feeling Christmas this year.  I guess it's because this is the time of year to look back and reflect on the past year.  And overall, it's been an amazing year.  I finished up my second college degree, graduating with honors,  I'm now getting paid to do exactly what I want to do (well...almost), and I'm now legally married to the love of my life.  On top of all that, Hubby has ALMOST finished his PhD, and we're getting close to the next chapter of our lives, and I couldn't be more excited.

I should take a moment to point out that when I say I love Christmas, I really mean it.  I love buying gifts for friends and family.  Usually, they are ones that they ask for, but it's always something that really means something either to them or to me.  We usually spend about $100 or so on each other (I'm not going to miss the college student budgets) and around $50 for friends and family.  Granted, most friends do not actually get gifts, but that's more due to the lack of funds.  And I've never understood the point of buying a gift just because you are supposed to.  Buying things for people out of obligation ruins the spirit of the season to me.

This year, one of the people that has (unknowingly) been a major inspiration to me as a budding blogger has been Jenny, the Bloggess.  Her wit and willingness to say and do the most inappropriate things at the most inappropriate moment never ceases to bring a little light to my soul.  This year, she took it upon herself to give back to people in need.  What started out as giving out $600 ballooned to a major project where $42,000 was given to people in need.

I am a huge sap for stories of generosity, specifically during Christmas.  So I would read the stories from people who needed a little extra help to provide the Christmas that their families deserved.  I decided upon reading it that I would donate and help out such a worthy cause.  And then I checked our finances.

We had already planned on an extremely low-key Christmas.  We wanted to focus more on savings than anything.  Plus, I was unemployed starting in January while I did my student teaching.  I didn't go back to work until August, and that was for a fraction of what I had been making before I left.  We decided to make our own gifts for people to save money, and we wouldn't buy each other gifts at all.  However, that's just not how I roll.  But I could suck it up, because bills were tough this past month.  Then Hubby threw me for a loop.

I can't remember if I ever blogged about it, but back in June, Hubby went to a conference in Prague.  He got me the two things I asked for - absinthe and Toblerone - a giant bar that I just finished the other day.  Turns out, he also got my a couple of Christmas gifts.  So here I am on Christmas Eve feeling like a failure.  My husband, my family and my friends all deserve so much more this year than I am able to provide, especially after being able to share such a wonderful year with all of them.  So what am I doing?  I'm wrapping a few things we already own while Hubby is at church with his family so that he has something to open tomorrow morning from me.

Things are not anywhere near the point where we need assistance of any sort.  I know this post makes it sound like we do.  It just means that we've had to cut out a lot of the frills temporarily.  And unfortunately, gifts fall into that category.

In a very long and convoluted way, this post is essentially a love letter from me to my family and friends, and most of all to my wonderful husband.  Think of this as the gift that all of you should have received from me.  I know it's not much, but it's all I can give at the moment.

NOTE: For the record, I did consider asking for assistance during the Bloggess's drive, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. It all boils down to we're not badly off, and there are many, many people worse off than we are.  We've had a rough month in terms of bills, but we have lots of savings and things are only going to be getting better in the next several months.  But it's called savings, and not spendings, so that money doesn't get applied to the "I wish we could...'s", only the "We really need...'s".

UPDATE: I just realized that now I have to prevent Hubby from reading this post until tomorrow morning, and he checks his blogs fairly regularly.  This'll prove interesting.

I Don't Know How I Feel About That

Working as a substitute teacher in multiple school districts has been an eye-opening experience.  Not only do expectations differ drastically from district to district, but even two schools in the same district have expectations that are dissonant.  Some days I walk in with a detailed lesson plan for a subject I do not know, and I'm expected to teach it.  Sometimes, even the administration can't find the teacher's lesson plan (that was turned in to the office).  Most of the time, I'm given everything I need to figure it out as I go.  And it's always enjoyable - even when it seems like being swallowed by the earth would be better.  Suck it, large unnamed retail store that formerly used a smiley!

I also get to have interesting experiences that a 'normal' teacher doesn't get to experience.  Last Friday? I was a secretary in the guidance office for the day.  Did you know that 'permanent records' are not just an idle threat? I got to put this year's school pictures with the files.  Kinda cool.  Also makes me kinda want to torch my high school in order to destroy them.  Then I remember that I was a goodie-two-shoes in high school.  So I guess the school can live to see another day.  You got lucky this time.

Today? I was a librarian.  Like for real.  My title was 'secondary librarian'.  Turns out the person that I thought was the main librarian? My secretary.  Yes.  I had a secretary.  And at least 3 student aides each period.  I crap you not.  It was BADASS.  Except there was one issue that I had.

Ever since the string of suicides by gay teens, schools have been cracking down on bullying.  In all forms.  And the mentality of "boys will be boys" does not seem to be acceptable by administration any longer.  I had a coteacher one day who stopped the class and went on a diatribe about how to treat other people after hearing a student tell another to 'shut up'.  I was impressed.  And glad that she showed up after I told the entire class to do the same.

Anyways, back to today.  The school library had a very good selection of books on sexuality, sexual orientations, and the like.  They also had a book called "Pornography".  The pictures were not.  I was kinda disappointed, and I'm not sure why.  Anyways, all of these books, along with books on the occult (yes, really) mental health, rape, abuse, etc. books were behind the circulation desks in the 'reserved' section.  The extremely popular books, such as Twilight and Harry Potter were also in the reserved section to keep track of them.  There are no restrictions on checking them out, so I asked why the resource books are back there.

Turns out, it's because students would find them in the regular stacks and would get disruptive.  So any books that have questionable titles or content that could prove disruptive (such as 'Pornography', 'Rape', and 'Abortion') were put behind the desk.  Any student has access to them as long as they ask the librarian to look at them.  I understand why virtually all of these titles were located where they were.  Except for one issue.  And you may have figured it out already.

A student who is questioning his or her sexual orientation, and looking for resources to help them is not going to feel comfortable asking the librarian to look at the gay resources section.  Of course, to be fair, teenagers don't use books anymore, thanks to my first true love.  The Internet.  You'll always be first.  And I'll try to be faithful and never commit letters onto paper.  It just makes me feel dirty.

Ok...I think I lost the serious point somewhere along the way, but isn't the point of having resources available for students is for them to feel comfortable using them?  If you are questioning (and obviously deep in the closet) you are not going to ask the librarian.  You'll walk past it on the shelf like 14 times, then pick it up, flip through really quick, and put it back before anyone notices.  Then get the courage to sneak it up to the desk to check it out.  By placing it between two more 'appropriate' books.  And hope the librarian doesn't look at the book titles.

Not like I've ever done that.

Cheaters Win

Today I was surfing the web while on a free period.  I found an article on the Washington Post that I proceeded to tweet, so you may have already read it.  If not, I'm nice enough to post it again here.  West Potomac High School in Fairfax County Public Schools has decided to allow students caught cheating on a test to retake the test.

I understand the intention behind allowing these students to retake a test.  I really do.  Grades are supposed to reflect academic achievement and not student behavior.  For example, a student who is frequently absent from school cannot be punished academically simply for being absent.  However, their repeated absences will hurt them in that they do not have the opportunities to learn the material in the classroom at the same pace as the rest of the students and therefore will not retain the information as well as if they had been present.

Additionally, students shouldn't be given extra credit or have points taken away based solely on their behavior.  A student who does the assignment but goofs off should still get full points for the assignment.  However, they may still be punished for their behavior by other means - separating the student, giving him detention, etc.

Some schools punish behavior through academic reprimand with good intentions.  One local school district requires that a student who skips one class period get a zero in all assignments for the day.  I disagree with that because if they perform well in my class, and show that they have the content mastery that I expect, then they should be rewarded academically.  I'm torn even when it comes to skipping my class.  Giving them a zero does not show what they know academically.  And regardless of that demonstration, they would still face behavioral reprimand for skipping my class.  However, they knowingly skipped a graded assignment, so it does demonstrate a wanton willingness to violate the rules.  But I really am torn, because it doesn't show me what they know.  And as an educator, that's what I'm most concerned with.

However, when it comes to cheating, I have zero tolerance.  Yes, it is a behavioral offense.  At the same time, they know that cheating is wrong.  They may not have showed what they knew regarding the content, but they did show that they felt like they didn't know enough.  And the only way that they thought that they could receive a decent grade on the assignment was by copying answers from someone else.  Maybe the real solution is not to give them zeros for cheating.  Instead they should receive the grade the grade they 'earned' on the test - or a high failing grade (whichever is lower).  They most definitely should still face the consequences for the behavior.  But allowing them to retake the exam  in question (under heavy supervision) does not teach them that cheating is completely unacceptable.  In the real world, it would get their ass fired in a heartbeat if they were caught.

Unlike me, and most of my friends in high school, a lot of students are not grade motivated.  They really don't care what grade they get.  That means that they don't care about a retake.  If they're stupid enough to cheat, they'll be pissed that they got caught, but won't bother to try to study to improve their chances at a good grade for the retake.

I always bend over backwards to help all of my students succeed.  However, the ones that came to any review sessions I held before tests were always the ones that didn't need it.  Sometimes, it was a confidence issue, but mostly these were the students that were grade motivated, and wanted to ensure that they got A's instead of B's.  And that's fine.  However, I base my classroom on respect, and a student who is willing to cheat, copy, or plagiarize will not get any from me.

I really do apologize for this post not really being humorous. I just couldn't believe that a school would bend that far to ensure that no student is 'left behind', when it truly is the direct result of the lack or responsibility on the part of the student that is to blame. And that's two posts in two days.  Maybe I can still complete NoBloPoMo. Nah...too much work.

On The Bandwagon

There has been a rash of suicides among teens over the sexuality recently.  These children were bullied and harassed by their peers - often only about their perceived sexuality.  If you don't know about these suicides, I'm shocked.  Stop here and go to a news site and catch up.  I'll wait. Many bloggers and celebrities have come out and blasted the parents of the bullies, and the bullies themselves.  I've decided that I need to put my two cents in.

The parents of the bullies and conservative pundits have defended the bullies blindly.  After all, aren't they just being kids.  That's what kids do? Right? They bully.

Unfortunately, yes they do.  I know I've done my fair share of smack-talk.  However, over the years, I've learned that it either comes back to bite me in the ass or I feel like crap about it - sometimes long after the other person has gotten over it and moved on. The Bloggess wrote a really good piece on this here.

As everyone knows, kids can be cruel.  It's not that they're evil, its just that they haven't quite figured out what is and isn't appropriate to say, and why.  They also like to test their boundaries.  They like to see how far they can go, and what a person's reaction will be.  And where do they do this the most? In schools.

To be completely honest, I haven't followed a lot of the online mud-fight.  However, I will go out on a limb and place a fair bit of the blame on teachers.  Its easy as an educator to jump in and stop physical bullying or profane language.  It takes a little more strength to stop someone when you hear "gay" or "fag".  In fact, I once wrote a paper based on the findings of SafeSchoolsNC, a North Carolina based organization, whose intention is to eliminate harassment and bullying in all forms in public schools in North Carolina.  The findings of their research is clear:  in the 30 days prior to being interviewed, 7% of heterosexual students reported being threatened with a weapon in school.  During that same period, 33% of homosexual students were threatened.  In addition, in schools that did not have a school policy that included sexual orientation, 53% of students frequently heard words such as "faggot", "dyke", or "queer", and teachers intervened frequently only 6.6% of the time.  The report, published in 2006, can be found here. (pdf, 25 pages)

Unfortunately, I place possibly most of the blame on the parents of the victims.  I'm sure they do to.  I am very sorry for their loss, and cannot comprehend what it would be like to lose your child.  However, I'm not sure if any of them had ever had a conversation with their children about how a parent's love is unconditional.  And tell them that whoever said "words can never hurt me" is full of shit, but life gets better.  Struggling with sexuality is something I've gone through.  It took me through most of high school to admit (only to myself) that I might just possibly be a scosche bisexual.  But not gay.  Even though I'm only really attracted to guys. But if I'm bisexual, then I can still be normal, right?

EDIT: I don't blame the parents for the bullying of their children.  I blame the parents for the fact that their children thought that they would not be loved and that the only way to make the pain end was to to take their own lives.

Grappling with my sexual orientation, coupled with a very mild, but untreated form of bipolar, I was extremely depressed for much of my young life.  I was constantly thinking suicidal thoughts.  Fortunately, I was too big of a coward to ever seriously act on it.

The summer after I graduated from high school, I traveled to Europe with a touring marching band.  I became friends with several openly gay and bisexual members.  They were the first people I ever told.  Of course, I told them that I was bisexual, but it was a start.  I finally began to understand who i was as a person.  When I came back, I quickly came out to most of my friends.  Including the very wonderful Domesticated Goddess, who I happened to be actually dating at the time.  I'm not sure if she understands how much I really do value her friendship after all these years.  I had finally come to terms with who I was, and it made me feel so free.

Parents: talk to your kids.  The earlier, the better.  Make sure they know that your love is unwavering, that no matter what, you'll be there for them.  Make sure that they know that treating other people differently is wrong, and help them develop the confidence to speak out against any injustice.


Readers still in high school (hey, I may have them!!): Try to make friends with the 'different' kid.  I'm not saying do it, but at least try.  Trust me, you meet some of the most amazing (and 'interesting') people in life just by being friendly.


Teachers: make sure that bullying of any sort does not happen on your watch.  This could be in your classroom, the hallways, whatever.  Take a stand, and refuse to allow that behavior, attitude, or language in your classroom.

There is no reason why a young person in this country should feel so ashamed of who they are that they feel the need to take their own life.  Shame on everyone one of us Americans who have let our society be shaped this way.

I apologize if this is poorly written, but I've made myself cry, it's 2am, and my editor will NOT get out of bed to proofread.  I've checked.