My Life in Boxes

It is official!!! Well, at least unofficially.  Our new landlords have accepted are application and after negotiations (where they countered their own counter-offer) we are all free-and-clear.  Except we haven't signed a lease.  But according to our wonderful agent, Z, has assured me that it is a done deal and we can start with the whole change of address thing.  We will be living on the eastern edge of the Edgewood neighborhood in Atlanta!!!!

The sides of the hill are covered in undergrowth now, but the grass is still really nice.  It's nice and shady, so the A/C won't work as hard as it would've had to with several of the houses we looked at.  Technically, it is a downgrade in space.  We're losing our dining room (aka computer room), but has three bedrooms - the smaller two are massive compared to our current second two.  The space is laid out much more sensibly, and even though the kitchen is a good bit smaller, it has more counterspace and storage!  For some reason, I only took one picture in the house (in my defense, it was house number 6 we saw that day), and Z was in the picture on accident, so I blurred her. We do not have a ghost. Yet.  Give Hubby a chance, and I'm sure he'll figure out a way to have a pet ghost.

I took this near the front door, so it is diagonally across the living room and into the kitchen.  It's a little small, but with a studio apartment walk-in closet in the master, the coat closet will be transformed into a giant pantry!!  Oh yeah, and we have TWO BATHROOMS NOW!!!!!!!11!!!1!!!

We're 1 mile away from a subway station, 1 mile away from the center of the Kirkwood neighborhood, 1 mile away from a massive big box shopping center, and apparently 1 mile away from one of the happening-est gay districts in the ATL! We are very excited.  BUT....

We still have to get there.  I've talked a lot about the when, where, and how issues of this move.  Fortunately, they are all addressed finally!  Where: We're moving to a cute ranch house in Edgewood.  How: We have a 26 foot truck on reserve from a branch of a self-move service.  When: That's the kicker.  We pick up the truck one-week from tomorrow!! We're desperately trying to pack up boxes, although I think we're pretty much done for the night at this point.  DVDs and about 2/3 of the books are all packed, as is half of our wardrobe.

We are getting a washer and dryer from friends here, then loading up the truck Sunday.  Monday, we're going to my parents' house, where we pick up more stuff, and spend a night.  Tuesday, we're going to Hubby's parents' house, where we pick up yet more stuff and spend another night.  Wednesday is the long-haul, with a 7 hour drive - one of us in a 26 foot truck, the other in a car with a dog and a cat who will both be going crazy.  We might stop and visit family in North Carolina as a rest stop, because they live about half-way between Hubby's parents' and our new place, but only to stretch and give the animals a little relaxation time.

We should get to Atlanta no later than 4pm or so, and we need to unload as much as possible on Wednesday, but the truck won't be due back until the next day, so we can spend a little extra time the next day unloading.

Our trip (which we also just came back from a few hours ago) was amazing! We had a wonderful - if not completely crazy time.  We got to explore a lot of the area near where we'll be living and have already tried out a few of the really cool eating places near our new place.  Hubby even found a really neat organic/vegetarian grocery store nearby that has a better selection and cheaper prices than the specialty store he's frequented here in Central PA.  We quickly noted that regardless of age, gender, and race, the unifying factor of employees and shoppers alike in the store was long, gray hair.

Sorry, I thought this post was going to be funnier than it turned out being, but I'm too tired to really care.  Also, hopefully this won't be the last time I post before we actually move, but it might be.  Maybe when I move in, I'll actually take pictures of the place so I can show it off!!!

Unpacking

Yes, you read the title right.  So does this mean that I am now living it up in the ATL? Nope.  You'll notice how long it's been since my last post when I confirmed that we were moving and moving quickly.  16 days.  Until Tuesday, we didn't even know things like Hubby's salary and benefits because the contract hadn't officially come.

If you'll remember two weeks ago, I said that we should have the official contract by the end of the week.  Well we didn't.  And no one could tells us why it hadn't come, but it'd be there by the end of the next week.  Rinse and repeat.  Turns out, like all good bureaucracies, there is only one person who is allowed to send out the contracts.  And that person? On vacation.

Anyways, Tuesday we got the contract.  Or rather Hubby's advisor got his.  Which is a start and allowed us to confirm what we already knew and commit fully to the move.  Only we didn't know exactly when the move would happen, or how we would get there, or where we would live.  You know, all the essential things you need to know for the move.

Today we confirmed when.  We'll be moving the second week of July.  Yes.  In a little under four weeks.  Nothings packed, no notices have been given, etc.  We know that the move will be paid for, but don't know if we'll be doing it ourselves, or if Hubby's new employers will move us.  Either way, it's time to clean house.

If you remember back a year ago, we went on a spree reducing our books, dvds, and video games.  Well, the dvds and games were sold on ebay, so there gone.  The books were sitting on the floor in what we call 'the other room'.  Meaning it's NEVER had a use.  Sure, it stores our router and printer, and the closet is overflowing with a ton of electronics, cables, and boxes that I don't even want to think about right now.  Also, by sitting? I mean spread out so that you could easily see every single book.

Notice I  used the past tense there? I finally boxed them up.  Today. Yes, today.  This weekend, they'll go to the local library, where they will be recycled, because no one will want to buy or even borrow them.  But at that point? Not my problem.  Also, the clothes that I mentioned had been sitting in a basket for two years? they were still there until today.  Along with a (I shit you not) ALMOST TWO CLOSETS' WORTH OF CLOTHES.  See, we knew that the move was coming so we did try to whittle down our clothes and get rid of things we didn't wear anymore.  We actually emptied one closet completely, and condensed down to 1 1/2 closets with virtually everything we own hung.  We also emptied out two drawers in our three dressers.  Considering I never got the keen fashion sense that was supposed to arrive in the mail when I got my 'Gay Card', there is NO REASON FOR ME TO OWN THIS MANY CLOTHES.

Anyways, I packed up all the clothes in trash bags to take to Goodwill this weekend.  TWELVE FRICKIN' TRASH BAGS. Are you kidding me? And yes, I went through it again, just to make sure.

When we first moved from to our current place, 4 years ago, we kept all the boxes.  Just in case we moved again, and would need to find boxes in a hurry.  Most of these are boxes that were shipped to the retail store I used to work at. Very beat up. But we kept them, because moving is expensive and I'm fine using crap boxes.  Although now we're either being moved, or being reimbursed. So I might as well get good boxes.  I also bought a grill when we moved here. And kept the box (full of trash) in the basement.  I was going to deal with it later.  Which was today.  Actually, I took an entire car's worth of boxes to the recycling drop off and got rid of them.

I feel very accomplished with my actions today.  I even contacted the landlady to terminate our lease.  Of course as of right now, that means that we're homeless at the end of July.

We now know when we will move, have a very good idea of how we will move, but still don't know where we will move to.  Considering that with our current time frame, they will not pay for us to house-hunt (not that Hubby can afford to take any days off of work before the move), we will probably be renting a house sight-unseen.  Fortunately, my parents are friends with a realtor in the DC region who is putting me in contact with some people in the Atlanta area.  And he knows the time frame we are looking at.  If possible, we might dip into savings for me to fly down and look at the top places we are considering.

And in case you were wondering, both animals are freaking the crap out.  They don't know what's happening.  Calvin at first thought it was fun, but he's now avoiding me, despite being offered treats.  Zoe just looks like she's about to die from misery.  And there's still a little under four weeks.

It's going to be an adventure.

Out of the Frying Pan...

Ok.  It's official.  Well not really.  We haven't signed anything.  Or even seen the contract yet.  But it's supposed to be coming by the end of this week.  Granted it was supposed to arrive by the Friday two weeks ago.  But Hubby's advisor hasa very good idea what's in the contract (he was obviously in on the negotiations) and has passed on what we need to know.  There is still the possibility that the written contract will be different, but we are at 99.9% certainty.

I've lived in a major metropolitan area.  I've lived in a town with an amazing university that's part of the ACC athletic conference.  I've lived near large popular museums and amusement parks.  I've lived near some amazing and some mediocre professional teams...mostly mediocre.  And I've gotten to see and swim with sharks.  And I like to drink Coke. Now I get to do all at once. Well not simultaniously...although.... *enters catatonic euphoric state imagining the possibilities*

Ok, I'm back...now where was I....oh yeah, baiting you along...back to that.

This potential move has been very hush-hush for a multitude of reasons.  Hubby's advisor at the university is abandoning ship for a different one, potentially leaving starving grad students in a lurch.  We were horrifically burned by the city-that-shall-not-be-named (it rhymes with malmamurque) after I posted extensively about relocating there.  I was not originally planning on leaving all my (5) die-hard followers in the lurch for months - I was originally told 4-8 weeks.  Four months ago.  In fact my brother and sister-in-law (yay, I get to write that instead of fiancé!!) were apparently talking about us the other day and came to the conclusion that it must have fallen through, due to the lack of announcements from us.

I hate Pepsi.  Like HATE. Maybe it's the whole Joan Crawford thing...still don't get the draw of Mommy Dearest.  And I love Coke.  I've always lived in 'coke towns' before moving to central PA, where everything is all pepsi, all the time.  Probably because Aquafina gets a lot of it's water from the Spring in Bellefonte.  Check your bottles, if you have any.  They might very well say "Bellefonte, PA" or "Milesburg, PA".  I'm really not sure where I was going with this other than to continue to distract from my main point.

I've been bitching about the weather and heat here in PA, which is nothing compared to what we will have to endure in our new locale.  And my new-and-improved sinuses will get a workout with allergens (which are relatively mild here).

Anyways, here it is.  You may have already figured it out.  We're moving to Atlanta.  Yes, I've been bitching about the heat, and I'm going to be moving to Atlanta.  Hubby will be working for a major university there.  And both of us are forbidden from calling it 'Tech'.  It's a two-year post-doctoral position, so we might only be there for two years, but we are thinking about it as a permanent relocation.  Largely because it will allow me to lay some roots as a teacher.

Speaking of that, I've already submitted my application for a Georgia teaching license.  Over the course of the next several days I will be looking at specific school districts and begin to make contacts for jobs.

I don't know exactly when Hubby will start working down there, but he has yet to defend his doctoral-level research.  However, it appears as though we are in for a whirlwind move.  As in we may be there Permanently in about 2 months.  We. Not I.  Originally the plan (assuming Hubby got the position) was for me to move down during the summer so that I could begin to teach while he finished up his work here. However, as of 2pm today, I was informed that we would be moving down together.

We have already begun to go through all of our accumulated crap, separating out the clothes that no longer fit/aren't worn/are hideously ugly.  If you live in central PA, you may have an opportunity to load up on goodies that we no longer want/don't want to have to move. (not the clothes.  We'll donate those.)

Obviously, there's still more to come....I'll keep you updated, I swear!

UPDATED: I just realized that this is full of weird capitalizations and some of the sentences don't make any sense. Maybe I'll come back to it and fix it when I'm no longer feeling a buzz from the champagne, but I doubt it.  Pizza and Champagne: Celebration of Champions.

UPDATE 2: I have absolutely no idea why it's acting funky with comments.  The fields required to post a comment aren't even showing up for me.  Feel free to send them via facebook, twitter, email, or any other contact method (if you know them already)

I Swear I Had an Excuse...At One Point

Ok, so I know its only been like eleventy years since I last posted (or 3 months...one of the two).  But I was waiting to hear back on potential job news.  And waiting.  And waiting.  Anyone who knows all the details of our near-relocation to Albuquerque knows how badly we were burned there, and that we're trying to not do that again.  Every time I get some sort of inspiration to write about, I decided to wait a few more days and see how job stuff pans out.  Then I lost my inspiration. Rinse and repeat.

So am I writing today because I have news? Nope.  Of course not.  That'd be too awesome.

Actually, Hubby and I just got home from visiting my brother.  And his wife.  Only she wasn't when we got down there on Thursday.  His wife, that is. Yes, that's right.  My kid bro is now married.

There was  beautiful weather and everything was great. I'd post pictures, but there'd be no point, because I'd feel obligated to blur everything beyond recognition.

I think I had more inspiration earlier, but it's all left.  This is why I haven't posted in forever.  Also? Here's to hoping that I may have a real reason to post very soon.  Or I get my mojo back.  Either one.

This post is crap, and I know that, so I'm not even bothering to involve the editor.  Because he's already sleeping off the weekend.

Bah Humbug and Merry Christmas

I've always loved Christmas.  It's never been as fun for me as Halloween, which is all about indulgences and excess (and just so much wackiness ensues at any age).  As I've grown up, my reasons for loving Christmas have changed drastically.

When I was a kid, I was always about the toys (of course).  This year, my list was actually shorter than my mom's, which is really crazy.  I asked for two gifts - Trivial Pursuit (because I'm a geek) and a tie clip.  Seriously.  I asked for a tie clip.  In the world of practical gifts that people need and don't ask for, that ranks just below socks.  and I asked for it.  Granted, I was specific in that I wanted it to be silver in color, but that's only because my wedding ring is white gold, and all my belt buckles are silver.

But even with everything, I haven't really been feeling Christmas this year.  I guess it's because this is the time of year to look back and reflect on the past year.  And overall, it's been an amazing year.  I finished up my second college degree, graduating with honors,  I'm now getting paid to do exactly what I want to do (well...almost), and I'm now legally married to the love of my life.  On top of all that, Hubby has ALMOST finished his PhD, and we're getting close to the next chapter of our lives, and I couldn't be more excited.

I should take a moment to point out that when I say I love Christmas, I really mean it.  I love buying gifts for friends and family.  Usually, they are ones that they ask for, but it's always something that really means something either to them or to me.  We usually spend about $100 or so on each other (I'm not going to miss the college student budgets) and around $50 for friends and family.  Granted, most friends do not actually get gifts, but that's more due to the lack of funds.  And I've never understood the point of buying a gift just because you are supposed to.  Buying things for people out of obligation ruins the spirit of the season to me.

This year, one of the people that has (unknowingly) been a major inspiration to me as a budding blogger has been Jenny, the Bloggess.  Her wit and willingness to say and do the most inappropriate things at the most inappropriate moment never ceases to bring a little light to my soul.  This year, she took it upon herself to give back to people in need.  What started out as giving out $600 ballooned to a major project where $42,000 was given to people in need.

I am a huge sap for stories of generosity, specifically during Christmas.  So I would read the stories from people who needed a little extra help to provide the Christmas that their families deserved.  I decided upon reading it that I would donate and help out such a worthy cause.  And then I checked our finances.

We had already planned on an extremely low-key Christmas.  We wanted to focus more on savings than anything.  Plus, I was unemployed starting in January while I did my student teaching.  I didn't go back to work until August, and that was for a fraction of what I had been making before I left.  We decided to make our own gifts for people to save money, and we wouldn't buy each other gifts at all.  However, that's just not how I roll.  But I could suck it up, because bills were tough this past month.  Then Hubby threw me for a loop.

I can't remember if I ever blogged about it, but back in June, Hubby went to a conference in Prague.  He got me the two things I asked for - absinthe and Toblerone - a giant bar that I just finished the other day.  Turns out, he also got my a couple of Christmas gifts.  So here I am on Christmas Eve feeling like a failure.  My husband, my family and my friends all deserve so much more this year than I am able to provide, especially after being able to share such a wonderful year with all of them.  So what am I doing?  I'm wrapping a few things we already own while Hubby is at church with his family so that he has something to open tomorrow morning from me.

Things are not anywhere near the point where we need assistance of any sort.  I know this post makes it sound like we do.  It just means that we've had to cut out a lot of the frills temporarily.  And unfortunately, gifts fall into that category.

In a very long and convoluted way, this post is essentially a love letter from me to my family and friends, and most of all to my wonderful husband.  Think of this as the gift that all of you should have received from me.  I know it's not much, but it's all I can give at the moment.

NOTE: For the record, I did consider asking for assistance during the Bloggess's drive, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. It all boils down to we're not badly off, and there are many, many people worse off than we are.  We've had a rough month in terms of bills, but we have lots of savings and things are only going to be getting better in the next several months.  But it's called savings, and not spendings, so that money doesn't get applied to the "I wish we could...'s", only the "We really need...'s".

UPDATE: I just realized that now I have to prevent Hubby from reading this post until tomorrow morning, and he checks his blogs fairly regularly.  This'll prove interesting.

Why I Hate Everyone

I've been meaning to post for a long time.  A very long time. Like for real.  Only problem? I'm easily distracted.  As in I'm trying to not do the 4 google searches that popped in my head in the last minute...only because if I do this will never get done.  And I procrastinate like it's going out of fashion.  Of course, I wouldn't know...I'm too busy not doing anything.

My life has been pretty hectic recently, the past few weeks, in the over-a-month since I last posted.  This sounds like a job for....*duh duh duh daaaaaah*...Bullet lists!

In no particular order (especially because I don't remember what happened when...it's been far too long)

• I quit my crappy retail job after only being back there for 2 months
• I went to see a stage version of Rocky Horror
• I have been substitute teaching full time - some as far away as 50 miles (ugh)
• I learned how (and how not) to thaw a turkey
• We've actually had people over to be social (tonight will make two times in a week)
• I really thought this would be a longer list
• It's kinda depressing, actually
• I'll just add a few more bullets to make it seem longer
• There, that should do it
• Maybe one more for good measure

As you can see from all the bullets (but not the contents) that I have been quite busy.  For the record, I'm working on this post while attempting to deep-fry a turkey.  Hubby's office decided to have a thanksgiving potluck, and we're hosting it.  And we spent so much money at the grocery store that they gave us a free turkey out of the goodness of their hearts to force us to drop even more money there in a desperate attempt to save 90 cents a pound.  If you've ever deep-fried a turkey before, you'll know that they need to be watched fairly closely.  Which is why i'm resting the laptop on my lap while sitting outside next to the fryer.  There's no way this can end badly, right?  I should also include that the entire house is made of wood including very old wood siding, and directly above where I'm frying the turkey is a wood balcony.  But if something goes awry, I'll have plenty of time to carefully set my laptop down before escaping the massive inferno that would be my house.

Now that I've explained what I've been doing and what I am doing literally at this moment, I'm moving on to an almost-unrelated topic.  It's still related because it's still about me.

As most loyal followers know, Hubby's graduation from grad school is imminent. Unless something changes, which is still possible. I think.  He doesn't like to give me concrete answers about his progress, So honestly, you are not as far out of the loop as you'd expect to be.  However, we are fairly certain that his post-graduation plans are set.  We are waiting to make sure, because last time, I continually blogged about them, only to have to eat my words. Yes, I'm talking to you Albuquerque.  I gave my laptop a death glare.  Which told the city halfway across the country that I mean business.  I'm sure it got that message.

I've also been substitute teaching full time.  Teaching can be incredibly frustrating. Especially Social Studies.  These student's do not have any social studies classes until 7th grade.  I really did want to hit something (like the blackboard, which I'm pretty sure I did) when I asked my students what the three axis powers of World War II was and someone said 'Mexico'.  Teaching can also be tedious and repetitive.  Don't get me wrong, impatient me is totally able to deal with it in the classroom.  However, substitute teachers have the easiest and boringest (screw you, English teachers!) job.  You show up, and you have a detailed lesson plan waiting for you.  Of course you report well before the students actually show up, so you get to sit around aimlessly for a while, first. You implement the lesson.  Which is usually a video or a handout.  You have nothing to do during the period except try to get the kids to do it, which they wont, because you're not the teacher.  Then you have a planning period.  You don't have to plan anything, since you're not the real teacher.  And then you have to sit around after school ends until your shift ends.  High school: about 10-15 minutes.  Elementary school: like an hour.  And then you teach things like band, where I pressed play twice on a DVD player.  That was my entire day. Seriously.

Also: I'm going to try to incorporate the weekly writer's workshop from Mama's Losin' It.  It seems like a good way to actually post every week.  Plus I'm not doing anything else during the day.  Unless the website is blocked at school.  Like all the good ones are.  Which really sucks when you're bored.

Oh, and for the record, I lied.  I don't hate everyone. Or really anyone for that matter.  Unless I don't like you.  Then I'll arbitrarily claim to hate you.  But don't take it personally.  Because I hate everyone.

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The Bureaucratic Nightmare That Is My Life

As most of my readers know, I've had to put on hold my dreams and ambitions for now and suck it up and return to the wonderful world of retail.  With two college degrees.  I don't blame Hubby at all.  Ok, well maybe a little, but it's really not his fault. And I know that.  Rationally.

The real blame can be directed at the professor at my college who oversaw my student teaching.  During that period, I reported directly to two people: my cooperating teacher, with whom I had to get approval for all lesson plans and he pretty much shaped me into the teacher that I will become when I have a classroom of my own,  and my university supervisor.  His role was essentially to observe me (and grade my teaching ability) and make me jump through a million pointless hoops just because he could.  Which for the record is exactly what good teachers are not supposed to do.  My cooperating teacher taught me that. 

My university supervisor - from now on US - would also schedule the 'random' visits.  Not that I did anything differently, but if I was a mediocre teacher, I would have only pulled out the big guns when he was there.  He also would randomly walk into my classroom, turn around and walk out IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS.  And I would have to run out of the room to figure out what the hell was going on, only to find out HE'D GONE INTO THE WRONG ROOM, WALKED ACCROSS THE FRONT OF THE CLASSROOM AND THEN NOTICED.  You can tell I think highly of him.  In fact, I'm not going to call him US, I'll just call him douche-waffle.

You may ask why I am writing about my student teaching in September when I graduated in May.  Well, I'm getting to that.  You see, I applied to a few school districts for a teaching position this year, but didn't hear back from any of them.  Then I went to apply for substitute teaching positions.  And reading the application a little closer than I had done in the past, I discovered at least one reason why: Since I do not have any teaching experience, they want to see a letter of recommendation from my cooperating teacher (who wrote me a very glowing one), and another from douche-waffle.

I emailed him shortly after graduation to get one.  When he didn't respond, I called him.  He said he hadn't been checking his email recently, but he'd get right on it, and send it out promptly.  This was in May. I got busy, and distracted, and never noticed that it hadn't appeared in the mail.  That part, I'll admit is Hubby's fault.  He didn't remind me.  Notice I'm not at fault.  Ever.

Anyways, in the middle of August, I picked up the application for substituting and suddenly remembered that I didn't have the letter.  I sent douche-waffle a very polite email requesting it, as well as a confirmation (via email or telephone) that he had received my email.  I don't think that's asking too much.  Then I got started back in retail, and I got busy.  I waited two weeks with no response, so I fired off another email - less polite than the first, but still very cordial.  This time explicitly insisting that I wanted confirmation of receipt.  Again, no response from douche-waffle. 

So last night, finally completely fed up - school was now back in session, there was no reason he hadn't returned my emails - I fired off a fourth email (I know that doesn't add up, but douche-waffle wanted me to send him an email with my mailing address, even though I had already done, when I talked to him in May). This email was still mostly cordial, but it was also incredibly passive aggressive.  Hubby was mildly horrified that I was sending an email like that to someone who potentially held my future in his hands, but whatever.  Finally, this morning I called him.  Actually, I called several faculty members before I found his number, because everywhere that it was listed online was different and they were all wrong.

Douche-waffle did not seem surprised to hear from me.  In fact, he excitedly told me that he was about half finished and was hoping to get it out in the mail tomorrow.  He's been working on it since May.  He even said so.  As soon as I got off the phone with him, I called Hubby.  When he picked up, I gave him a heart-attack by letting loose a ton of primal noises and yells, as well as quite a few words of a less-than-professional nature.

The man who holds my future in my hands has been working on my letter of recommendation since May, when I originally asked for it.  He never responded to any email where I requested a response. AND HE'S ONLY HALF-FINISHED.  He's essentially had an entire semester, and has done only half of the work.  That's a 50%, which is an 'F'.  Unless you go where I went.  They think that 'F's are demoralizing.  So they give 'E's.

Oh, and yes, I am aware that this is my second post this week, making it the third post this month!  Now I just need five more to equal June!  Whatever, just give me an 'E' for effort and move on.

What to Expect When You're Expecting (Gay Edition)

First off, for the record I'm not.  Nor is Hubby. At least that I know of.  And hope.  Because that would be an awkward conversation.  Also, this post was supposed to come immediately after my last one.  And I was extremely excited about having two posts in the same month for the first time in forever.  Then I realized that they would not be in the same month.  So I aimed for the same week.  Which also didn't happen.  But here it is.

Hubby and I have talked a lot about having kids sometime in the eventual future.  But there's one small issue.  See many married straight friends have voiced jealousy towards us in regards that we never have to worry about getting accidentally pregnant.  While that's nice, no matter how hard we try, we'll never be able to get pregnant on purpose. However, there are many possible alternatives.

Want a kid biologically your own?  Just have a drunken one-night stand with a woman.  If that's not your thing, there is always surrogates and in vitro fertilization.  However, using a seperate egg donar and a surrogate, you can pay up to $70,000 just to achieve fertilization.  Even at the priciest bar, you can expect a bar tab of only several hundred for two.  So suck it up and take one for the team.

Don't care if the kid is biologically related? That's fine too. There are many children not fortunate enough to have a loving family of their own here in the US. Also, adopted children can be had for little or not cost to you!  Now you just have to decide the age of kid you are looking to adopt.  Remember, the earlier before the teenage years, the more chances you have to love them before they become little (or not-so-little) rebellious shits.

Interested in adopting children not fortunate enough to live in the US? Madonna and Angelina have led the way in raising interest in adopting children internationally.  It is important to remember that you will have to visit where ever you are adopting from, so think of it as planning your next exotic vacation.  If you aren't interested in traveling there, don't bother adopting from there.  Obviously, you can try to accessorize with your children (ala Angelina), but I recommend avoiding this desire if possible.  Fashions change, and kids can't be swapped out as easily as your wardrobe.

Hopefully, this guide has helped you in your quest to become daddies.  I know there are countless resources out there to help make your decision, but you chose me.  No, I don't know what's wrong with you.  Seriously, something must be.

ADDENDUM: Hubby just reminded me about pets.  Many gay couples have pets that they call their children.  They give them people names and spoil them rotten.  While pets may serve as a surrogate of sorts, they are only for people too lazy to deal with actual responsibility.  Pets are great, but they are not substitutes for real children.  Any gay person that says otherwise is full of it.

I'm not dead, I swear

So after a very long period of what can only be described as a case of the severe and debilitating blahs.  They're still there, but whatever.  I've stopped caring about them.  So instead of going on about those, I'm going to pretend that I've been continuing to post regular updates on the blog.  And you will too.  See how easy that was?  Now on to whatever will spill out of my brain through my fingers (if you thought that this would be articulate and concise, you were grossly mistaken).

Last week was a very important week for gay marriage rights.  At some point this week, Judge Walker is supposed to address the issue of a stay on same-sex marriage in California pending the appeal to the Ninth Circuit.  Actually, it turns out that I may not finish this post before he rules.  In all of the excitement of the ruling that Prop 8 violates both the Ninth Amendment's non-enumerated rights clause and the 14th Amendment's equal rights and protections clause, I forgot one major Constitutional hurdle that about 90% of the news media has conveniently forgotten.  In order to appeal a decision, the group filing must have the legal standing to do so.

In Perry v. Schwarzenegger, two same-sex couples sued Governor Schwarzenegger and the California attorney general.  Neither defendants sought to defend themselves in court.  Thus, the Proponents of Proposition 8 stepped up to the table and tried quite amateurishly to defend it.  They have filed an appeal to Judge Walker's decision.  Which, if when upheld, will mean that marriage equality applies to Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, Alaska, Arizona, and Hawaii (in addition to California, where it already applies).  However, I expect that the Ninth Circuit will refuse to hear the appeal.  Which means "Yay California," but "screw you" to the rest of the country.

Yes, the Proponents of Prop 8 had the legal standing to defend it in federal court, but they almost definitively do not have the right to appeal - if for the very reason that the two named plaintiffs in the case did not file an appeal.  In fact, they hold the opposite view.  They joined with the plaintiffs to petition that the stay on same-sex marriage be lifted, allowing California become (again) the 6th state - and 7th US jurisdiction (District of Columbia) to grant marriage licenses to same-sex couples.

If Schwarzenegger or the attorney general (whose name is not even important enough for me to Google) - neither of whom are running for reelection - chose to bite the political bullet and appeal the decision (and allow Proponents of Prop 8 to provide their stellar defense - again, thanks for that) I would not think anything less of them.  Besides, Schwarzenegger's legacy will be Terminator and Kindergarten Cop, not his two terms as governor.

However, there is a court precedence allowing the courts to rule even after throwing out a case due to a lack of standing.  And I really can't believe that I'm about to cite it.  In Dred Scott v. Sandford (yes, I just cited the Dred Scott decision), SCOTUS ruled that Scott lacked the legal standing to sue because he was not a citizen of the United States (because he was a slave). That would have been the end of a still-very wrong decision, but they didn't end there.  They continued on to rule that slaves were property of their owner, and that those property rights do not end upon the owner relocating to a state that outlawed slavery.  Considering many Constitutional scholars argue, rightfully so in my opinion, that the Dred Scott decision was the worst ever handed down by the Supreme Court, I doubt too many courts would use it.  Its possible that there are other cases that could be cited, which of course would just cause the Right to cry foul even louder than they already are.  It is also possible that there are more political nuances than I am reading into it.  The lawyers for the plaintiff both argue that the case is bound for SCOTUS, so maybe they know something I do not.  Especially since one is a neocon golden boy.

Long story short, I believe that Judge Walker will lift the stays on same-sex marriages in California, and the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals will throw out the appeal to Perry v. Schwarzenegger, ending a case that I've already seen extensive breakdown as to how each Supreme Court justice will vote.  The consensus is 5-4 (go figure) with Justice Kennedy casting the deciding vote.  All a moot point if the appeal is thrown out.

On a related note, there are only a few days left before Hubby and I get legally married in DC.  I began planning last night.  Go me.

ADDENDUM: Just read Baker v. Nelson (1972).  SCOTUS dismissed the case in which a same-sex couple sued for the right to apply for a marriage license "for want of a substantial federal question."  Plaitiffs argued in Perry v. Schwarzenegger that Baker no longer applies due to subsequent court decisions.  Also, Proposition 8 was a state law, not federal, meaning that Baker v. Nelson does not apply as precedent.  This is what I get for reading National Review.  They raised a doubt in my mind by citing an obscure precedent.  Which is not really a precedent because SCOTUS dismissed the case (and therefore did not rule on it).

Time to End My Laziness

After a period of being very blah due to very disheartening job hunt, I've decided to get back in the saddle.  Not that I haven't started like 8 posts.  But this one I'll finish.  Or just post anyways.  Whichever.

I honestly don't know if people did as I asked, and bought my crap after reading my last post, or if people just found them on eBay all on their own, but our video game crap all sold!! I even got rid of a few of my extra books when I forced them on unsuspecting guests.  And we filled an entire trash bag of video games that we either can't play on our new computers (yes in fact they were that old), or hadn't even been installed on the computer since its last reformat.  And I finally hooked up the new-to-us behemoth of a computer and Hubby finally got it all fixed up yesterday.  We are FINALLY getting organized.

I mentioned long ago that Hubby and I had filed for a marriage license at the DC Courthouse.  And I said I would be quick about giving everyone the date.  Well that's fixed.  It's going to be on MONDAY, AUGUST 16, 2010 AT 1:00 PM.  You are invited.  Of course there is a limit of 15 people in the courtroom.  Parents and siblings (assuming they come) leave only 8 slots.  I created an event on Facebook for it, and if you didn't get an invite through that, email me or message me.  Not my friend on Facebook?  Get on that.  Oh, but I'm unsearchable unless you are already my friend.  Good luck.  By the way, I can honestly say that I hate Facebook.  And I've plugged them too many times.  Myspace. There.  My karma feels balanced.  Speaking of things I hate, I originally wrote the "by the way" as 'btw'.  Thanks for nothing text messaging, IM, and Twitter.  If only I was getting paid to plug these pieces of junk.  Of course, by calling them that, I'm assured that no one will ever want me to plug there stuff on here.  Which is just as well.

Our wedding is getting more politically apropos.  Earlier this year, the US District Court for Northern California heard arguments that Proposition 8 and other bans on same sex marriage are unconstitutional because they violate the 14th amendment to the constitution.  Closing arguments for Perry v. Schwarzenegger were heard mid-June and a verdict will be issued in the next few months.  The lawyers for the plaintiff used similar arguments that were used in court challenges in Massachusetts and Iowa.  This past week, The US District Court in Massachusetts ruled that the federal Defense of Marriage Act was unconstitutional.  Not too fear conservatives, this only applies to Massachusetts. Which already allows gay marriage.  It would have to be appealed to the appellate court, and then appealed to the US Supreme Court.  Of course our wonderful and very progressive president is the one who sent his lawyers to Massachusetts to defend DOMA.  I guess he left the 'not' out on his campaign promise to overturn DOMA.  In reality, though, Both Perry v. Schwarzenegger and Gill v. OPM are the best chance for the status quo to be overturned.  Sorry.  I didn't mean to channel my inner politico.  Don't judge me.

For those who oppose my views on same-sex marriage, I have an alternative.  Apparently, about a year ago, NOMLM issued the following public service announcement:

A Gaythering Storm from Jane Lynch

For more information, and to learn how to contribute to this organization (if that is your sort of thing) you can go to http://www.giantgayrepellentumbrella.com.


Oh, and my personal reaction to people who feel that I should be on the first-name basis with a probate lawyer (which I am) to continually ensure that hubby and I have as many of the legal rights as our married friends as possible, instead of just being able to say "I do" and get them whether we want them or not?





For the record, I am tired enough to have considered making my own version and post that instead.  However, I don't know the song, nor know enough about my webcam to know how to do that.  Yes I could figure it out.  But its 2:15 AM.  And I'm tired. However, if you make your own version and send it to me, I'll reciprocate!

EDIT: fixed a few glaring errors.  Probably missed more than I fixed, but whatever.  Also, I promised to link to Hubby's blog whenever he posted his post regarding our trek to DC.  Well he took his sweet time in writing it, so I had made a post since that.  I didn't want to mess up the order of my posts by editing old ones, so I just never linked.  Now I will though.  Because I like to follow through on my promise.  Key word: 'like'.  Because it does not say that I always follow through.  That would just be setting everyone up for disappointment.  Why am I more rambly and less sensical that I was when writing last night?  Anyways, his post is located here.

But We Did That Already. Right?

I've been in a committed relationship with FertKiki for over seven years now.  That's like 21 typical gay relationships.  At least.  Four years ago, we had a (not-legally-binding) wedding ceremony down at Virginia Tech by the pastor of a pretty United Church of Christ in Blacksburg.  Interesting side-note: last I heard, she has resigned as the pastor of that church, and I heard a rumor that she was to be a pastor at the UCC church in Washington DC that the Obama family attends occasionally.  However, I cannot find any proof of that.  Maybe my source is a loyal reader, and will be kind enough to let me know!

So for four years, I've referred to FertKiki as my husband.  On top of that, we participated in a commitment ceremony On Penn State's campus officiated by the recently deceased State College mayor, one of the most friendly and passionate people that I've ever had the pleasure of working with.  That was just over two years ago.  Just don't ask me when.  I got our dating anniversary still, our wedding anniversary, and finally his birthday.  But I don't know the date of our second ceremony.

Why the hell am I bringing this up, you ask?  Because I'm thinking about popping the question again.  Well technically, I alluded to it on the phone with him about an hour ago.  We've talked a lot about getting a legal wedding for quite a while, but haven't felt particularly motivated, especially since Pennsyltucky is a state with a DOMA statute.  But now we're moving. Most likely.  Maybe.  Hopefully.  FertKiki had his interview(s) today in New Mexico, and he should hear back in about a week.  Via telephone.  While he is at a conference in Europe.  And can't use his cell phone.  I just KNEW a situation like this would come up five years ago when we were trying to decide between ATT and Verizon.

New Mexico is a unique state in the gay marriage front.  They have not passed a law either banning or allowing same-sex marriage.  And their constitution uses the same obliquely-worded passages as the ones struck down in California, Iowa, and Massachusetts had (along with others).  And, the state courts have never ruled on the issue (unlike the three above).  However, unlike New York (which until this point was identical) the courts have not ruled on the issue of out-of-state same-sex marriages (I never get to use the hyphen this much).  In fact, New Mexico was one of the states back in 2004 in which some marriage licenses were issued to same-sex couples (as was also done in California, New York, and Washington).  However, it is the only state that did not then have all licenses annulled.

They don't seem particularly eager to push the issue either way.  In 2008, a bill was killed in the Senate that would have legalized same-sex marriages in New Mexico (after being passed in the House).  No later attempt has been made.  The last year an attempt to outlaw same-sex marriage made serious progress was in 2005.

Why don't I just wait until it becomes clear?  For starters, because I'm sick of waiting.  I've always hated the comparison between the Gay Civil Rights Movement and the Black Civil Rights Movement, but one of the most powerful things that I have ever read is Letter From a Birmingham Jail, written by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  It makes me cry every time I read it.  And tear up thinking about it.  And now that I've looked it up, I'm crying like a baby.

"Perhaps it is easy for those who have never felt the stinging dark of segregation to say, "Wait." But when you have seen vicious mobs lynch your mothers and fathers at will and drown your sisters and brothers at whim; when you have seen hate-filled policemen curse, kick and even kill your black brothers and sisters; ... then you will understand why we find it difficult to wait. There comes a time when the cup of endurance runs over, and men are no longer willing to be plunged into the abyss of despair." FULL TEXT

I'm not saying that I have had to experience ANYTHING akin to that in my lifetime.  But when all I want is hospital visitation rights, legal power of attorney, and most importantly inheritance rights.  I don't think I'm being greedy. Or that I'm asking too much.

For the record, there is a less-than-altruistic desire as well.  The company that might be offering FertKiki a job will pay to relocate both of us, but will only fly out him and his legal spouse to job hunt.  $45 bucks and a week at my parents versus round trip airfare and meals.  Easy choice.  Don't judge me.

BTW, if nuptials are forthcoming, I'll eventually post information.  It'll take a while to come to a decision either way.  And I even think I may have to hire a lawyer to do so.  Yuck.  All lawyers are evil.  Except for all the ones that read this.  They are some of the best people in the whole world.  If you can give me any advice on New Mexico tax law, call me!

EDIT: I go off the deep end a little when I'm stuck with only my own thoughts for an extended period of time.  I've only been unattended for two days.  Imagine what next week will be like.  I'll be alone for a whole week.

Maybe Things Work Backwards Out West

As I've mentioned before, there's a good chance that FertKiki will get a job at a research facility in Albuquerque (ala my freakout).  Its still not set in stone.  In fact, on June 2, he flies to Albuquerque for his second interview.  He's told me that its largely a formality, but its definitely being treated with utmost professionalism.  However, yesterday he received an email about his visit.  In it, he was given all the necessary information about benefits, relocation, and house-hunting.  Maybe it's just me, but that is stuff that someone who is ALREADY HIRED needs.  I'm not sure if I violated national security, considering I read the email that was labeled "for use by recipient only", but considering I'm a dependent, and therefore directly affected by benefits and relocation information, I'm calling it even.

On a (at one point related) tangent, we are going to visit my family this weekend.  My grandparents are visiting from Texas, and my brother's fiance's parents are coming to a barbecue on Saturday.  It'll be good times.  In fact, I've been updating my iPod for the trip.  That's right, there's a new Glee album that apparently came out today (I just went to iTunes and downloaded whatever was there).  I also downloaded a bunch of Lady Gaga and other songs that make me happy.  Its a four-hour drive.  And my iPod already has enough music to last for like 7 days.  And I have like 20 CDs I like in my car.  And I know all the good radio stations between here and my parents.  But I NEED these new songs.  Don't judge me.  Glee is my opium, and Lady Gaga is my crack.

We were supposed to visit my in-laws, but fortunately unfortunately we can not make it this trip.  We still haven't told them that our next location is most likely New Mexico.  They've told us in no uncertain terms that they want us to live somewhere between Charlottesville, VA and Blacksburg, VA (dead-central VA to southwest VA).  We've tried to tell them in no uncertain terms that NO WAY IN HELL WILL WE DO THAT, but they won't take the not-so-subtle hints.  In fact, they keep sending us job descriptions clipped out of newspapers and magazines for things such as "bridge stress analyzer. Which requires a bachelors.  He has a PhD.  In a VERY high demand branch of engineering.  In fact, he'd be highly qualified to be a college professor.  If they were to put together a pitch for him to apply for an assistant professor position at Virginia Tech or (shudder) UVA.  Sorry, DG, but I still haven't entirely reconciled your choice of alma matter.  Nor my brother.  Nor his fiancé.

We were planning on doing that this trip, but not only does my wonderful hubby have to travel to New Mexico for a whirl-wind interview on June 2, but on July 5 he flies to Prague for a conference.  I'm incredibly jealous that I cannot afford the $1,200 airfare.  Especially I wouldn't be obligated to go to any of the week-long conference and just explore Bohemia.  And try absinthe.  But only because its expected of people to do that there.  It's in there constitution or something.  That's what I read at least.  I think.  Maybe I'm just making it up as I go.  Either way, I'd totally trip and see the mini Nicole Kidman and here funky musical-styled covers of pop songs. Because what happens in Baz Luhrman movies is exactly what happens in real life.

WTF, me?

As all million of my readers already know, I'm a little bit of a procrastinator (in fact, this post was started three days ago).  That only holds true on things that have to be done.  If it involves future-planning,(theoretically, at least) I'm all for it.

The creation of this blog was not just because I could, but it was also because I felt motivated for future events:  FertKiki potentially has a real job!!! He hasn't made an announcement on his blog, so I decided to break the news on mine.  I guess that makes me the Fox News of 2010. (also, this just in, Glenn Beck is a giant fairy and Michelle Bachman is a big ol' Lesbo...now I've lost my cred faster than CBS).  Ok...that's out of my system now, and we're back to the status quo. Hopefully.

Apparently there is a position at Sandia National Lab that is a perfect fit for FertKiki.  Even the people in Sandia think so to!! The only problem?  Sandia National Lab is located in Albuquerque, New Mexico.  When he first informed me, I spent 3 days doing nothing but research on New Mexico.  Instead of doing any work I needed to do for school (both the one I teach, and the one I attend).  Did you know that Albuquerque has average highs only about five degrees higher than in NoVA.  They also have lows five degrees lower on average.  Turns out, Albuquerque is over a mile above sea level.  But it has like 1/2 percent humidity.  GOODBYE ALLERGIES!!!!

Why do I bring all this up right now?  Because I need to be finishing creating lessons for Monday and Tuesday, writing a test for Wednesday, and working on my work sample for LHU (which was due a few weeks ago). What am I doing instead?  Researching gardening in New Mexico.  Today I've learned the difference between landscaping, xerascaping, and zero-scaping, and put actual thought into what I would like to use on my property.  There are a few problems with this line of thinking.

1. We live in a rented duplex.
2. FertKiki doesn't even HAVE the job yet.
3. He doesn't graduate until December.
4. We will not be owning a home for at least a year (despite having real money and low-cost of living)

However, this is what I've spent today doing.  Isn't that just great?  Now if you don't mind, I'm going to go work on my retirement speech.

To Quote Three-Year-Olds Everywhere "I DON'T WANNA!!!!!!"

Unfotunately for the millions of people that I'm sure are already reading my blog (since it is the first post after all) This is probably going to be boring back story.  If you don't like it, go suck an egg.

Since I was a little boy, I had one goal: become a grown up.  Even in high school, I couldn't wait to enter the real world.  While I was obtaining my BA from Virginia Tech, I had no clue what I wanted to do, but I was excited about whatever it would be.  Then I faced a (brief) rude awakening.  That's right, I couldn't find a job.

Part of it is definitely my fault, because I'm the one who moved to a college town in the middle of nowhere.  But since this is MY blog, I will treat it like Fox News treats their blatant lies, and claim that I never said that and you can't prove it.  Anywho, I ended up with a string of crappy part-time jobs to help pay bills until I could leave the hell-hole that is central PA.  Then I was sucked back in to higher education.  I came up with the brilliant idea that I wanted to be responsible for shaping the future minds of America, a terrifying thought.

Now three years later, I'm only a few weeks away from graduation from college (again).  This time, I'm SOL.  James is looking all over the country (and by all over, I mean one city in New Mexico and five in California) for a high-paying engineering job, and I'll be tagging along like a good house[husband] wherever we go.  I can no longer kid myself that I can stay in academia anymore.  Its time to polish the resume, prepare a portfolio, and wait to figure out where I can apply to work.

 All the time, I'm just thinking  

"I DON'T WANNA!!!!!"